“Why would you think that? What does that say about you?” “Why are you upset? I was only kidding.”Ģ4. “You should have known that this was not a good time to talk.”Ģ3. “You’re the only person I have these problems with.”Ģ2. “Stop taking everything I say so seriously.”ġ7. “You always jump to the wrong conclusion.”ġ5. “Don’t you think you’re over-reacting?”ġ4. “You need to learn to communicate better.”Ĩ. “I guess I’ll have to repeat myself since you can’t remember.”Ħ. The following are phrases to look for if you suspect someone is trying to gaslight you.Ĥ. The more aware you are of a gaslighter’s techniques, the better you can protect yourself. The gaslighter may then deny having said or done something, tell blatant lies and eventually project his or her bad behavior or traits on you. Gaslighting also occurs in personal relationships, though it is often subtler, but gaslighting in the workplace can be especially destructive-particularly if your boss is the culprit.Īccording to Psychology Today, gaslighting typically begins gradually, with a snide comment or critical remark disguised as a joke. When it comes to politics, gaslighting is all around us. For example, at a meeting on Tuesday, your boss says, “You can all leave at noon on Friday.” When Friday comes along, your boss indignantly says, “I would never say you could leave early. Gaslighters use lies, false promises and personal attacks to make those around them doubt themselves. (See it in action in the 1944 movie “Gaslight,” starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer.) The idea is to make those who disagree with the gaslighter question their ability, memory or sanity. Gaslighters engage in the manipulation technique of distorting known facts, memories, events and evidence to invalidate a person’s experience. If you’ve ever spent time around a gaslighter, you know what they’re capable of. Editor’s note: This article is a re-run as part of our countdown of top stories from the past year.
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